The SNP yesterday announced that it would oppose attempts to remove the ban on fox hunting in England and Wales. Angus Robertson, parliamentary leader, said that the Conservative party was legitimate target and all red coat and no knickers.
“In these circumstances, it is right and proper that we assert the Scottish interest on fox hunting by voting with Labour against the Tories’ proposals to relax the ban – in the process, reminding an arrogant UK government of just how slender their majority is – just as we will vote against the Tory welfare cuts next week, and appeal to Labour to join us.”
Speaking out in solidarity with other cute creatures labelled as vermin throughout the British Isles, the Orkney Vole expressed his support for action at a meeting today.
‘We have to learn to cohabit the islands peacefully. Many foxes are now declaring their vegetarianism and opting to live on apples, plums and blueberries. Many have apologised for their past carnivorous behaviour and we think a time has come to draw a line in history. The time for fox bashing is over. Saying ‘sorry’ is more than enough.
Harriet Harman, inactive Labour leader, has said that whilst opposing hunting she will support Tory moves to force unmarried vixens to consume their own excess young or face a benefits cap. Leadership contestant, Liz Sellall went further, ‘Poverty is a blight in Britain that we will eradicate. The Government must reintroduce peasant shooting on all landed estates in an attempt to boost the rural economy. “
No member of the Liberal Democrats was able to comment.