Orkney Vole welcomes SNP action on English fox hunting – support our cute Southern comrades.

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Labour leadership candidate calls for removal of ban on peasant shooting

The SNP yesterday announced that it would oppose attempts to remove the ban on fox hunting in England and Wales. Angus Robertson, parliamentary leader, said that the Conservative party was legitimate target and  all red coat and no knickers.

“In these circumstances, it is right and proper that we assert the Scottish interest on fox hunting by voting with Labour against the Tories’ proposals to relax the ban – in the process, reminding an arrogant UK government of just how slender their majority is – just as we will vote against the Tory welfare cuts next week, and appeal to Labour to join us.”

Speaking out in solidarity with other cute creatures labelled as vermin  throughout the British Isles, the Orkney Vole expressed his support for action at a meeting today. 

‘We have to learn to cohabit the islands peacefully. Many foxes are now declaring their vegetarianism and opting to live on apples, plums and blueberries. Many have apologised for their past carnivorous behaviour and we think a time has come to draw a line in history.  The time for fox bashing is over. Saying ‘sorry’ is more than enough.

Harriet Harman, inactive Labour leader,  has said that whilst opposing hunting she will support Tory  moves to force  unmarried vixens to consume their own excess young or face a  benefits cap. Leadership contestant, Liz Sellall went further,  ‘Poverty is a blight in Britain that we will eradicate. The Government must reintroduce peasant shooting on all landed estates in an attempt to boost the rural economy. “

No member of the Liberal Democrats was able to comment.

The Thirled Way

Jim_MurphyThe Trow ran came down to the burrow this morning and screamed in my window. I was not bright eyed and bushy tailed – Look, he said, ‘look now we have you nationalist scum on the run’ – I looked up blearily from my freshly pressed carrot juice. ‘What did you say?’ ‘Jim Murphy has now committed to us a fairer society’, he said, ‘give up now, you have lost.’ ‘Oh Chings,’ I replied, ‘ Have you taken your medication? Vote Labour in Orkney and you will get the coalition back – maybe with UKIP. That will help your Socialist ideals’ I snorted, closed the window and snuggled down on my nice bed of grass.