Why? Nothing like this has ever happened in the burrow at the back of Stromness before.
How could simple rodents have dared to do something like this?
We were far too small and vulnerable and plenty of trows warned us about stoats and hen harriers who would gobble us up but none have appeared. We are uneaten!
Outside the burrow, in the distance we can hear the spirits of the night, the hogboons and trows moaning because they cannot believe that they are being challenged by simple creatures who should accept that they were beaten, unfair and almost square. ‘Back underground,’ they call, ‘into your holes, know your place.’
To explain how such things could happen in their paradise, they tell each other stories about conspiracies involving the Wicked Witch of Holyrood who controls all and everyone. How they cackled with glee when they found a retweet of our appeal by an SNP account forgetting one retweet does not a swallow make, let alone a Summer.
Tim Farron said of us,
“Alistair has made a very fulsome apology and I think most decent people in Scotland, in Orkney and Shetland in particular, think ‘fair enough, give the guy a break’.
“If a handful of people want to pursue it, that is their right but I think it speaks more about them than they would want it to be said.”
That they cannot believe us island creatures capable of organising and linking up with others all over the place says more about them than us.
Nor do they get why we are so angry. If MPs lie at elections we cannot choose properly. This right for a fair vote has pulled us together across the species. Even a Shetland Cat supports us and we are not even nervous, well not very, because this matters. The metaphorical creatures united, can never be defeated.
Agitate, Organise, Scurry.
Eight thousand, one hundred and forty two backers have contributed for us. All the ex-cabinet minister and long- serving MP could rustle up is one hundred and eighty nine. Who is the handful now Mr Fallon?
Whatever happens, precedents have been set by rodents.
MPs are going to have to be more careful because they will know that this process, however it ends, could happen to them. It happened to Phil Woolas in the last Parliament and he lost in a case brought by the Lib Dems.
Now, they know it does not need to be a party but that any group of voters can bring a challenge if they can get the support.
No candidate is going to want to risk this happening to them, especially as it would appear that their own party backing is not automatic.
That was not the reason we started this case, but I am not sorry this has happened.
Truth is that our campaign is about Mr. Carmichael and his motivations, no one else. It does not matter what trolls, trows and the media goblins say because we are not the ones on trial. The people who will decide what happens are two judges who will make a decision based on electoral law – not a law we made but one by the Westminster Parliament.
And we are not there yet, not by a long shot, but a lot closer than we were. Plenty more waves may fall on the shore before now and then.
could not resist it