I would like to thank Mr. David Partner, Secondary School teacher, (retd) late of Stromness Academy for his kind correction of our errors.
We are mortified by his revelations we are not the above-paws sort of creatures we have pretended to be and are instead, given to the furtive and the burrowing. He is cross that we have mocked poor Alistair for being part of the Coalition and for suggesting that the Vow would not be fulfilled. It gets even worse, he has implied that we are not really furry creatures but humans and that most of us were ‘Yes’ voters and some of us even in the SNP. How dare we now raise our defeated heads and challenge our wise benefactors who have done no more than tell political lies to the electorate?
Oh the shame, the pain and my poor paws. Mrs. Vole has given me dirty looks and even young Sweyn looks ashamed. They know I am a disappointment and discredit on those who had such high hopes for me when I was but a Volette, the youngest of four and a pompous, wee mite. For, Mr. Partner taught me at school. How well I remember the classes where I with my fellow creatures of the night sat in eager rows before him. I have let him down. How much he must lament how little effort his attempts to shape the moral fibre of this vole have worked.
The classes that thrilled us most (and Mr. Partner was as exciting a teacher as he is a contributor to ‘the Orcadian’) were those on the American War of Independence. We felt our fur quiver at the story of Paul Revere so rivetingly told – and of brave Tom Paine, author of the ‘Rights of Man’ who challenged arbitrary privilege and power wherever he found it, who wrote,“It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry,” a mxim that served for so much of the politics of the unlamented Coalition.
Paine also wrote, and he may be thinking of those heirs of Grimond who consider us but voting fodder and think that they have an automatic right to represent us, irrespective of what we actually do;
“Men who look upon themselves born to reign, and others to obey, soon grow insolent; selected from the rest of mankind their minds are early poisoned by importance; and the world they act in differs so materially from the world at large, that they have but little opportunity of knowing its true interest, and when they succeed to the government are frequently the most ignorant and unfit of any throughout the dominions.”
Mr Partner notes that we, nasty creatures that we are, want to end Liberal Democrat representation in the islands. One of the very few parliamentarians brave enough to state their support for Unfortunate Alistair is Chris Rennard who encouraged Liberal Democrat candidates to ‘be wicked, act shamelessly, stir endlessly.’ That is a tradition that needs to end. It is neither Liberal nor Democratic but after power for its own sake and incompetent when it gets it for it has achieved nothing but its own destruction in nearly all parts of the country.
Mr. Partner, you taught me well.