I had to get the peedie voles out of the room this morning. They kept looking at Jim Murphy’s face and screaming. They could not understand why that bad man kept shouting out at that nice lady.
I strongly object to behaviour like Murphy’s before the nine o’clock watershed. My poor little voles had their morning scamper spoiled and ran under their bed in the back of the burrow sobbing their little hearts out. It took me ages to get them out and try to explain that we wouldn’t let the bad man get them. Even their favourite camomile seeds could not calm them down.
I had to explain to them that there are some bad people out there who don’t believe in democracy. They don’t mind us having votes as long as they are used to keep people like them in power. Some of them are called Conservatives and others Labour. They used to be very different and one great Labour leader called Clement Attlee made the world much better for ordinary animals like you and me. He and his friends made hopsitals, universities and schools that we could all use no matter how much money we had.
Over time Tories and Labour have grown to look like each other more and more until only some people can hardly tell them apart. Liberal Democrats will suck up to anyone in power. None of them want Scotland to be a free, happy and rich country. The nice lady called Nicola wants us to be living in an independent country where voles like us can get what we need to be happy, clever and healthy.