The VOLE is shocked, shocked, shocked. I coughed over my breakfast cereals and had to get the attention of the beloved Vet.
As a fine and upstanding Vole, I am proud, let me say that again PROUD, to stand for traditional values of respect, decency, honour and common sense. It has come to my attention that some young people, fortunately not known to me, have been making fun of some of our most beloved political leaders for cheap laughs. I have forbidden the Vole-lets, all 17 of them. from looking at FaceBook until this image of the Right Honourable Alistair Morrison Carmichael MP, Secretary of Sate for Scotland and Deputy Leader of all the Scottish Liberal Democrats in Scotland Left is removed. The sacrament of marriage is being defiled. It suggests that Mr Carmichael has willingly joined in coalition with the Conservatives because he likes it. We know this is not true. I include the image here so that you will now better how to avoid it and can share with me in deploring the impudence, and cheek of its makers.
After unsuccessfully standing for Parliament in Paisley South in 1987, Mr Carmichael found happiness here in Orkney and Shetland where he has represented us since 2001. Mr Carmichael deserves our respect for the way he has managed to lay down his principles for the coalition. We feel compassion for any Scottish politician who has done deals with David Cameron and we hope he has a long holiday abroad from May 8th when he is between jobs. We trust that everyone in Orkney will wish him well as he considers his future career in another role.
DO NOT SHARE THIS IMAGE WITH ANYONE. DO NOT LIKE IT. MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE SEES IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SEES IT. SPEAK OUT AGAINST MOCKERY. START PETITIONS. NOW. SQUEAK OPENLY AND WITHOUT FEAR.